Monday, April 19, 2010

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me...

Okay, so maybe not, but it's easy to feel like that when you're under-employed or unemployed. You can tell yourself to stay positive and it's just the economy but when you send out application after application and put so much effort and get excited about new positions that pop up and when you never hear anything it can be so heart breaking after months and months and months of it. Feeling like a loser comes easily when potential employers don't tell you otherwise.

It's so hard to stay positive. What it if it isn't just the economy, what it if it's me? What if I suck that much? And being under-employed can take a hit on other parts of your life. I'm scared to even try dating because who wants to date a chick who works at a store? Who wants to date someone with a ton of student loan debt? The truth is, in most states you marry someone you marry their debt, so why even start something with someone who has a ton of debt? My lack of money combined with my ridiculous school debt and my small fortunes worth of credit card debt make me feel even less attractive than my 15 extra pounds or perioral dermatitis could.

Sometimes you just need to stop with the job applying for a week or two. New positions will be posted and it's two rejection-free weeks. But I keep telling myself this old adage a professor at Bemidji State used to tell us, "If you apply for it, you probably won't get it, but if you don't apply for it, you for sure won't get it."

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