Thursday, October 21, 2010


Author's note: this is an anti-"mommy blog" not an "anti-mommy" blog. I don't see anything wrong with loving parents. But if a laundry product gets spit-up out of clothes that info doesn't help me much, thank you.

As I've said many times before, I'm not a parent. And when I say I really don't think I want to ever be a parent, people here say that I'll change my mind and that I'm just saying that or they act like I'm a horrible monster for not wanting to stretch out my uterus, skin and vagina to bring a life into this world.

Don't get me wrong, I do like kids. I think they can be adorable and it can be fun to spend time with them. But I get sick of it really easily. I don't like having to hide things from people, and parents have to lie all the time, or explain things in a dumbed down way and make things easier for a young mind to understand, and I'm not good at that. I like being blunt, putting things in a strait forward matter that maybe isn't child appropriate. I can't keep up the ruse that long, it's exhausting. And that's with well-behaved children.

Which brings me to my next point.

There was a woman in the store this afternoon who brought her two children, a boy about four and a girl about two. Cute but a little dirty (like sandbox dirty, needed a bath dirty, but not call child protective services dirty) and full of energy. She first was going to bring them in and leave her cart in the mall, but I told her she could bring it in. I showed the kids our sanitizers (which smell like hot cocoa and cupcakes... totally kid friendly).

This woman took her time looking for stuff (first mistake in my opinion) and the kids got more and more antsy. The weren't being bad, just acting like any two- and four-year-old would when their mom is taking too long in a store that doesn't really interest them and it's early afternoon on a beautiful day when you know that winter is imminent. But she kept yelling at them as if they were committing murder. Believe me, I was more appalled by her behavior than the children's.

Anyway, the woman finally decided what she wanted and made her purchase and left. After she had for-sure cleared the store I turned and said to my co-worker (who is the parent of a cute 2-year-old girl) and said "I'm sorry, I know I'm not a parent, but that woman clearly should not have children." to which she agreed. I also went on to say that we don't know all the circumstances as we are not day-to-day observers in this woman's life and we could have just caught her on a bad day... this conclusion was brought with very limited evidence.

This idea that you have to reproduce because of religious or social obligation is ridiculous. The idea that you HAVE to have kids, that a religion would tell couples they're going to hell for not having kids is a hateful, horrible thing. Some people just should not be parents, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with being childless.

Children stress some people out. I happen to be one of them. I also realize this, which is a good thing.

So please, the next time you hear someone say they don't want kids, don't belittle them in any way. Don't try and assure them that they will change their mind. I don't question why you have children, so don't question why I don't.

I think a person who realizes they won't be successful parents before a child enters their life in a parental way is just as beautiful a thing as a person who gets the greatest satisfaction from being a parent.

Besides, I'm more the cool-aunt-type, anyway.