Friday, January 15, 2010

Elliptical Girls

What are elliptical girls, you might ask yourself?

They are the girls who go to the gym solely to use the elliptical machines at ridiculously high speeds that no mere human can maintain.

Think about it, you know you've seen them at the gym. They're usually they type of woman that looks like a model and she's got a huge diamond engagement ring (they all have amazing fianc├ęs) and is dressed in gym clothes that are usually far more expensive than your regular wardrobe.

Sometimes these females are alone, but often they come in groups of twos and threes. They often come prepared with the latest iPod, one no mere human has access to yet, and tabloid magazines. After beginning the gossip session in the locker room they stroll out looking better than you ever could on your best days and saunter with purpose to the row of ellipticals, and that's where the magic begins.

They get themselves set, magazines in place, iPods ready, settings on the machine optimal for whatever it is these goddess-like women think they need and they're off. Legs move so fast you can't figure out how they do it. With speeds that high you expect them to peter out soon, but they just get faster and faster. Your work out ends and you're sweaty and gross and feeling pretty proud that you did two miles in less than 30 minutes and they're still going, full speed and there's not sign of sweat.

These are the elliptical girls. There's nothing wrong with them, I'm sure they're lovely people, but they fascinate me. How do they do it? Will they ever share their secret?

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