Friday, December 11, 2009

Smart girls don't get love?

So, a friend posted this article from the Huffington Post on facebook earlier this week, which basically says that smart women have so much trouble dating because if a woman is smart, she's obviously dysfunctional relationship-wise. The article goes on to give smart women tips to make their relationships last. There are so many things wrong with this, the first one being the assumption that women are happier in a relationship. The second being the "tips" which are really just another form of relationship games.

Games and misrepresentation are the whole reason relationships are so complicated in the first place. Should I call, should I text? He's just not that into you, guys want girls with long hair... blah blah blah. The biggest hoax is the dating book market. They sell promises of making your love life better, but in reality they make you rethink every single relationship you've ever had and make you scared to even look at another guy again, because he's probably not into you, and if he was you probably just said the wrong thing and watch him go to the "restroom" and you'll never see him again. Games, it's all games.

Here's my advice (but let me warn you, I'm not married, but I am happily single [finally] if that counts for anything): First, look for a genuine connection. You'll know it when you feel it. They can be few and far between, my last real connection was in undergrad. Second, be polite. If a behavior or conversation topic you're thinking of wouldn't be considered polite, don't do it, don't say it. Three: communication is key to a good relationship, so don't be afraid to communicate. If you have a reason, that is. Don't call "just to chat" if you don't have anything to chat about. If you're making the call make it count. If you're texting, make it quick, make it dirty, or better yet, both. And leave it at one message or voicemail. He'll get back to you when he can. Not everyone is glued to their phone every second of every day, and you shouldn't be, either.

Bad relationships happen when people follow these rules that were made up years ago and add some more and take out the ones they don't like, and most importantly play games. That's where things go wrong. They go wrong because you create a fake person, and the longer you're a fake person, the worse things are in the end, and there will be an end.

Do what feels right, and do what's polite, and most importantly, be yourself.

1 comment:

  1. Love this and love your blog (glad I found it). I was so annoyed when I read that Huffpo post.