Moving... Again

This spring I moved from Chicago, the country's third-largest city because I could not find a job. I returned to the town where I attended undergrad, going back to the beginning in a way, to try and live a little cheaper and get back on my feet. After being there for about a month the ball starts rolling on a job at a newspaper, which I eventually got, which means another move to a small town about the size of where I am now.

But here's the deal, it's hard being single in a city. It's even harder being single in a small town. Hardest yet is being single in an ultra-conservative Red-State small town. In towns like this I'm an Old-Maid because I'm not married, and I'm a selfish feminist because I don't think I want kids. (Although naming a brood after Star Wars characters is almost as good a reason as any to have kids, but I'd prefer to convince someone else of this and be that cool "aunt" type figure.)

I'm scared I'll be demonized because I support fairly liberal viewpoints. I'm scared that all the men my age will be married with kids, or else they'll be skeey perverts who don't know how to treat women. I'm scared my pharmacy won't honor my Birth Control prescription, even though I'm on it for my skin and long periods more so than controlling birth. I'm scared that no one will believe in love, only guns and hate and procreation for religious purposes, not for love and nurturing.

Red States scare me, it's true. And here's the deal, I totally believe in gun rights, I love wild game and I think it's probably the most humane way to kill animals. The live the life they were meant to live, and when they're old enough we shoot them and enjoy. What's not to love? But it's the crazy irrationality of it that scares me. It's the people who attack Planned Parenthoods because they sometimes perform abortions. It's people who get angry at other people for not sharing their ideas. It's people who condemn other people to hell, when God is the only one who can do that.

This is what I'm scared of, but I'm also excited. I'm ready to jump head first into my new job and my new town, which is gorgeous and full of Cowboys ;)

The Icy-Sticky Politics

I'm moving... again. What does this have to do with politics? I'm moving to North Dakota. After 25 years of living in Blue States, I'm moving to a Red State. Socially conservative North Dakota. And boy, an I scared.

I can understand socially conservative viewpoints, although I may not agree with them. It's the socially conservative blindly following any Republican ideas. Tying social, fiscal and political conservatism is disastrous if not dangerous.

Politicians have no right to tie personal values to political motives. And using religion, "Christian" religion to sell ideas of loose government, low regulations and corrupt financial markets and calling it freedom. The last I checked the Bible says nothing about selling bad financial "products" and causing a near collapse of the free world. And the Bible also says nothing about mega-"churches," but that's a different yet related rant.

If these things are what you really believe in, that's fine, I just don't like the way politicians use each other's personal lives and personal beliefs to attack each other, when those personal problems have nothing to do with they way they will govern or represent.

And the abortion issue. What ever your personal beliefs about the medical procedure you must understand the Roe v. Wade was a Supreme Court decision and your choices at the polls are indirect at best. More over local elections have even less to do with that decision. That being said, please STOP VOTING based on the candidate's pro-choice or pro-life views. They don't really effect that decision anyway.

And no matter what your feelings, making abortion an illegal medical procedure won't make them stop, it just makes them more dangerous. Think about it, what do you consider abortion? Just the medical procedure? What about a girl douching with bleach or drano to terminate their pregnancy? Or asking her boyfriend to punch her in the uterus or throw her down the stairs to end it? It's still abortion, isn't it?

What ever your social, fiscal or political views, consider them fully before you vote down party lines. George Washington warned us about political parties, it makes me wonder why America didn't listen to him, he was a pretty smart guy...

Lazy, ugly women.

So, there's an old quote that goes "There's no such thing as an ugly woman, just a lazy one." And it's so true!

First of all, it takes true laziness to get really fat. Anyone can have a few extra pounds, but obesity doesn't just happen. Fat is ugly, it's true. And again, a few extra pounds is not what I'm talking about, I'm talking about trying as hard as you can to move as little as possible.

Next step, hygiene. It's not hard to shower every day, it really isn't. Or every-other day, if you can get away with it. Having a clean body and clean hair contribute so much to beauty.

And this gets to hygiene.b: Hair maintenance and removal. A nice simple, well managed haircut is easily obtained by anyone. It doesn't take $300 to have a great haircut. $10 to $15 should do it at a national chain. Even there you can find a stylist you like and trust, tip them well to treat them well and you get the salon look at the discount price. And good shampoo and conditioner and styling products can be found at Target and Walmart for economy prices. Spend a little extra time making sure the products you're selecting are right for you. Learn to work with your natural hair texture to make styling easier on you and make your natural beauty shine through.

Hair removal. The most important thing you can do for your over-all beauty is finding the right eyebrow shape. Seriously. Your brows shape and frame your face. Bushy, overgrown eyebrows says "I don't care" and over-plucked pencil-thin brows say "I'm a porn-star in training." It's easy to find eyebrow tutorials online, but if you're completely lost, you might want to consider professional help. A good eyebrow wax can help create a shape that flatters your face. Many chain salons do these types of services as well. Make your dollar stretch further by maintaining the shape for as long as you can with your tweezers at home. All other hair removal (legs, facial, bikini) are secondary to your brows, but over-hairy (in America, anyway) = unhygienic and ugly.

On to make-up. You don't need a lot. I learned this tip from a magazine years ago, and it stuck with me ever since. Put your mascara on first. The second your eyelashes are darker and more defined, everything else falls into place and you'll use less of the rest of your make-up. Spots are less pronounce, dark under-eye circles are instantly lighter, your cheeks are rosier. Most days the only make-up I wear is black mascara. My skin thanks me for that.

Okay, your body. I know this is a touchy subject these days, but eating healthy isn't really that hard. What it comes down to is eating REAL food. Cook, even if it's just microwaving frozen veggies. Just read the ingredients on the bag or can, as long as you recognize what everything is, you're good to go. The other thing that hurts us is our sedentary lifestyles. Working in offices and sitting on our asses all day really hasn't done us any good. And the dependence on cars in this country, it's a shame. It doesn't hurt to walk or ride bike to work. It's good for you and the environment.

I would never say everyone has to be a size two. My ideal body on my 5'9" frame is 150-155 pounds, solid size 8, nice toned abs, legs and arms, and that little bit of fat that sticks out when I wear a tank top is gone. And I know I can do it.

Don't let your laziness turn you into an ugly woman. More than anything, every woman deserves to be beautiful. Beauty isn't easy, but it's not lazy, either.

Okay, this might sound silly, but...

The Twi-hard in me stayed up until, well, now waiting for and then watching the Midnight showing of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. The movie did not disappoint. In fact, none of the Twilight movies have disappointed me thus far. They stay true enough to the books, making fairly wise cuts to move the story along without sacrificing major plot lines. I wish I could say the same for the Harry Potter movies, which have been disappointing me since The Prisoner of Azkaban.

But here's the best (and most girly) part of the movie for me. I didn't feel bad about love while watching it. I know, it sounds strange and kind of self-absorbed, but when I see happy couples, especially movie happy couples I usually hate them and want to rip their eyes out. Especially couples like Bella and Edward. But I felt good about it, like, it's just around the corner or something, like, I was all warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe it was just R.Patz lusciousness, but I really felt like it was just around the corner for me... maybe.

And then, to top it all off, I get in the car and guess what song is playing. Michael Bublé's Haven't Met You Yet. My favorite since I first heard it. (I liked it so much I made it my ringtone.) I know I'm sounding like a 14-year-old girl, but I think that was a message. I think it was a message that I'm not supposed to settle for someone I've already met, that the people I've met aren't it. That I'm not supposed to give up just because I have a chance with someone I kinda know, but know that I can't love. It's this fourteen-year-old girls' idea that keeps me going. What's wrong with having hope?



Why do I have to be so cynical and logical all the time? What wrong with thinking that Prince Charming is out there, you just haven't met him yet? Is this what being a modern post-Sex and the City, post-He's Just Not That Into You woman is all about? Why can't I still believe in Prince Charming? Why can't I believe in multiple Prince Charmings for that matter? Who's to say that you can't have more than one? Just because a relationship ends doesn't mean that it can't have been meaningful. It doesn't mean you have to throw away all the memories of the warm and fuzzy and turn into an über-bitch.

I think that's where I and many single post-collegiate women go wrong. We think we have to be these strong professional women all the time, that we can't let the 14-year-old girl with a crush in us out every once in a while.

Dude, stop playing, be the 14-year-old girl. Be cute and funny and sweet and flirtatious, it doesn't mean you're not strong and professional.

I have the feeling that if we don't let that boy-crazy teenage girl side of us show every now and the, we'll end up like Lori Gottlieb and our song won't be "Haven't Met You Yet" it'll be "I Never Got a Chance To Meet You Because You Were Being an Over-Tough Über-Bitch," which just isn't as catchy.

A rant in one part

People weren't always so fat.

It's true!

People didn't spend hours at the gym, either.

They didn't obsess about diets, unless you count obsessing about where your next meal was coming from.

People cooked, and they cooked what they had available, and they weren't giant fat-asses like we are now.

Our food came from animals and plants, not factories and plants.

Cows and pigs and chickens and fruits and vegetables and wheat and corn where turned into something delicious and simple and digestible that fed our bodies what it needed and in turn they removed what they didn't.

Our bodies don't know what to do with chemical preservatives. What is Cool Whip, anyway? I mean, I know what whipping cream is but what is Cool Whip? What is non-dairy whipped topping? I mean, it's a four-word title! Whipped cream is just that, whipped cream.

That's what food should be, exactly what it is. Ground beef should be chunks of beef all ground up. Popcorn should be corn popped. Lemonade should be lemons aided by sugar and water.

Why have we done this to ourselves? Why have we turned sustenance into science? By doing that we've turned the formerly beautiful and marvelous human body into a lump of chemicals, preservatives and fat fat fat!

Why did we think this was better? I mean, the human race survived for thousands of years without sodium phosphate, sodium alginate, and protein concentrate. (We didn't have hand sanitizer or antibiotics either, but that's a different rant.)

What made us so cocky last century? Did we think all of a sudden we could do better? Sure, cars let us drive across a state in a matter of hours, but what's wrong with walking a mile to the grocery store? I've carried three bags of groceries a mile home. Guess what, I'm still alive.

Here's a simple solution: does what you're doing make you feel like a fat ass? Then don't do it. Sitting on a couch all day eating potato chips: does that make you feel good about yourself? Because it makes me feel like a fat ass. Driving the 1.7 miles to work when it's gorgeous, sunny and still outside: makes me feel like a fat ass.

Working little things into your day, like walking or biking instead of driving and spending an extra few seconds looking at labels to make sure you recognize every ingredient in your bread. And enjoying your food, not wolfing it down trying to get as much into your body as possible.

There's a simple solution to our problem. Stop acting like a fat ass and you'll stop being a fat ass.

Obesity in America

Check out this CNBC Documentary that premiered recently. It's a really interesting look at the present problems obesity is causing, and what that could possibly mean for the future. What it doesn't do is view obesity in a historical context, nor does it play the blame game. It's actually very interesting.

Enjoy!

What is sexy?

My recent move took me to a mall where the clientele is very different than that in Chicago. The customers in my Chicago store were mostly women in their mid-twenties to mid-thirties, professional, the type of women who wore button-ups and slacks most days. But here in Bemidji most of the female customers are either high-school or college students or moms. The moms are usually in a typical mom "uniform" of a t-shirt that can get dirty and a pair of jeans or shorts, something quick and easy. The younger girls often dress in what could only be described as "outfits."

And these aren't What Not To Wear Clinton Kelly and Stacy London outfits, these are outfits bordering on costumes. There was a girl would was probably very pretty in the other day, but she was wearing this "outfit" that made it look like she was trying too hard. She had on a summery white top, a pair of short-shorts, knee-high moccasin-style chocolate brown boots, a purse that matched the boots, full make-up (on a hot day) and her highlighted chest length hair was teased and sprayed and styled. On a Saturday afternoon. Shopping. In Bemidji, MN. It really did seem like she was trying too hard. (And who really knows, she was probably going somewhere else after that warranted the outfit, but still, in that setting it seemed like too much)

This prompted me to ask a male contemporary which he thought was sexier, an "outfit" like the mall girl was wearing or a hot girl with minimal make-up in a t-shirt and jeans. He opted for the t-shirt and jeans, which is what I was expecting. I mean, the "outfit" just screams high maintenance. What guy has ever said he wants a girlfriend who's high maintenance?

Here's the deal ladies, work on what's underneath the clothes first and foremost. Anything looks good on a hot and toned bod. Secondly, go ahead and put together a cute "outfit." Now take one flashy piece out and replace it with something simpler. (I'd removed Mall Girl's boots and replace them with simple strappy flat sandals, and tone down the make-up a bit) It's the over-the-top-ness of the "outfit" that makes it so much closer to a costume, which should be saved for Halloween and other such occasions.