Okay, this might sound silly, but...

The Twi-hard in me stayed up until, well, now waiting for and then watching the Midnight showing of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. The movie did not disappoint. In fact, none of the Twilight movies have disappointed me thus far. They stay true enough to the books, making fairly wise cuts to move the story along without sacrificing major plot lines. I wish I could say the same for the Harry Potter movies, which have been disappointing me since The Prisoner of Azkaban.

But here's the best (and most girly) part of the movie for me. I didn't feel bad about love while watching it. I know, it sounds strange and kind of self-absorbed, but when I see happy couples, especially movie happy couples I usually hate them and want to rip their eyes out. Especially couples like Bella and Edward. But I felt good about it, like, it's just around the corner or something, like, I was all warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe it was just R.Patz lusciousness, but I really felt like it was just around the corner for me... maybe.

And then, to top it all off, I get in the car and guess what song is playing. Michael Bublé's Haven't Met You Yet. My favorite since I first heard it. (I liked it so much I made it my ringtone.) I know I'm sounding like a 14-year-old girl, but I think that was a message. I think it was a message that I'm not supposed to settle for someone I've already met, that the people I've met aren't it. That I'm not supposed to give up just because I have a chance with someone I kinda know, but know that I can't love. It's this fourteen-year-old girls' idea that keeps me going. What's wrong with having hope?



Why do I have to be so cynical and logical all the time? What wrong with thinking that Prince Charming is out there, you just haven't met him yet? Is this what being a modern post-Sex and the City, post-He's Just Not That Into You woman is all about? Why can't I still believe in Prince Charming? Why can't I believe in multiple Prince Charmings for that matter? Who's to say that you can't have more than one? Just because a relationship ends doesn't mean that it can't have been meaningful. It doesn't mean you have to throw away all the memories of the warm and fuzzy and turn into an über-bitch.

I think that's where I and many single post-collegiate women go wrong. We think we have to be these strong professional women all the time, that we can't let the 14-year-old girl with a crush in us out every once in a while.

Dude, stop playing, be the 14-year-old girl. Be cute and funny and sweet and flirtatious, it doesn't mean you're not strong and professional.

I have the feeling that if we don't let that boy-crazy teenage girl side of us show every now and the, we'll end up like Lori Gottlieb and our song won't be "Haven't Met You Yet" it'll be "I Never Got a Chance To Meet You Because You Were Being an Over-Tough Über-Bitch," which just isn't as catchy.

Smart girls don't get love?

So, a friend posted this article from the Huffington Post on facebook earlier this week, which basically says that smart women have so much trouble dating because if a woman is smart, she's obviously dysfunctional relationship-wise. The article goes on to give smart women tips to make their relationships last. There are so many things wrong with this, the first one being the assumption that women are happier in a relationship. The second being the "tips" which are really just another form of relationship games.

Games and misrepresentation are the whole reason relationships are so complicated in the first place. Should I call, should I text? He's just not that into you, guys want girls with long hair... blah blah blah. The biggest hoax is the dating book market. They sell promises of making your love life better, but in reality they make you rethink every single relationship you've ever had and make you scared to even look at another guy again, because he's probably not into you, and if he was you probably just said the wrong thing and watch him go to the "restroom" and you'll never see him again. Games, it's all games.

Here's my advice (but let me warn you, I'm not married, but I am happily single [finally] if that counts for anything): First, look for a genuine connection. You'll know it when you feel it. They can be few and far between, my last real connection was in undergrad. Second, be polite. If a behavior or conversation topic you're thinking of wouldn't be considered polite, don't do it, don't say it. Three: communication is key to a good relationship, so don't be afraid to communicate. If you have a reason, that is. Don't call "just to chat" if you don't have anything to chat about. If you're making the call make it count. If you're texting, make it quick, make it dirty, or better yet, both. And leave it at one message or voicemail. He'll get back to you when he can. Not everyone is glued to their phone every second of every day, and you shouldn't be, either.

Bad relationships happen when people follow these rules that were made up years ago and add some more and take out the ones they don't like, and most importantly play games. That's where things go wrong. They go wrong because you create a fake person, and the longer you're a fake person, the worse things are in the end, and there will be an end.

Do what feels right, and do what's polite, and most importantly, be yourself.