Chivalry is dead... again

I've been noticing something lately, but I'm not sure what I'm noticing. You know, when you walk through a door that someone else is about to walk through? What do you do? Do you hold the door until the next person gets to it? or do you give the door an extra push in hopes that it stays open for the next person? Or, are you an complete asshole and exert no extra effort and let the door fall as it may?

I've seen more people lately just let the door fall, I mean, really, is it that hard to give it an extra push?

The strangest angle on this chivalry/rudeness trend? Gay men. Gay men in their forties, specifically. I don't expect any man in his twenties to hold a door. But gay men or any man in their forties and beyond who just let the door slam behind them, even when they see me coming, I expect that door to stay open two seconds longer.

Maybe I'm just witnessing this because I work just south of Boystown, and it's a general population trend and I'm getting the older gay gentlemen portion of it, who knows?

I thought that men born in the sixties and before were raised better than that. I get that you're not attracted to me, never have been never will. Your lifestyle makes no difference to me. But the simple fact is you have a penis and I don't, and that door should be at least pushed open in hopes that I make it to the door on time.

In general, we should just be better to each other as human beings. Will you really be that much later if you give the door an extra shove? People treat each other like shit, simple as that. So, next time you're walking through a door that someone else is headed for, give it a shove, or better yet, hold that sucker open until the next three people walk in.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

One of the hardest parts of being single is the lack of respect. I think, even in this day and age, that there's this stigma that being single means that you're not grown up. That by not "settling down" and getting married or building a long-term relationship you're extending adolescence and undergraduate debauchery.

This goes back to my favorite Sex and the City episode, A Woman's Right to Shoes. Carrie's $500 brand new Manolo Blahnik shoes disappear after being forced to take them off at a baby shower for a friend's third child. When Carrie confronts the friend about the loss of her asset the friend chides her for spending so much on shoes, and refuses to pay to replace them.

I can't tell you exactly when a person goes from being a child to an adult, but I can tell you it's not always when they slip a ring on someone else's finger or push another human being from their uterus.

There's this idea that permanent relationships and children have to be a part of adulthood that is ingrained in us as children. It's not even an on-purpose thing. Our first impressions of adults are our parents, people who conventionally engaged in a marriage or long-term relationships and had children.

In many cultures, there are rituals to welcome children into adulthood (ex: Bar and Bat Mitzvah in Judaism ) But there are none in America. Legally, we're adults when we turn 18, but you still can't drink alcohol until you're 21, and you still need to submit your parent's income to financial aid for school, which is bull shit and subject for another rant. We're not expected to grow up until it's too late.

Financial independence, in my opinion, is true adulthood. If you make enough to support your lifestyle without relying on family money or credit cards, you have achieved adulthood. If your lifestyle includes a spouse and 2.5 children, that's great. If your lifestyle includes two cats, cookies and solitude, that works too, as long as you can afford it.

I'm not quite there yet as a recent grad, but it is what I'm working to, and I'm working hard to achieve it.

Then again, maybe we never grow up, maybe we just get older.

Eggcellent

Lately, I've been on an omelet kick. It started with the "Julie & Julie" trailer, and got worse and worse as I read "My Life In France" and "Julie and Julia," and started watching Julia Child's "The French Chef" episodes on pbs.com.

Eggs are great, because they're one of the few things you can enjoy fresh everyday in a flash. Almost everything you else you make begins with one big recipe, and you're forced to microwave the rest until you can't handle rubbery chicken anymore. But eggs are fresh every time you make them. And they can be different each time, too. Add some mushrooms and swiss cheese in an omelet one day and some green peppers, turkey and cheddar to scrabbled eggs the next. They're different every time!

Eggs are also a great source of protein. Yolks have been accused of having too much cholesterol, so I'll add one or two to my three-egg omelet, it adds the yellow color, but cuts down on the un-healthy part of the egg.

Eggs are really hard to screw up, start with scrambled and work your way up. I'm trying to flip my French-style omelets in the air yet, some days they come out great, other days I have quite the mess to clean up on my oven, but its all part of the learning curve. I might even try Julia's bean trick to practice!

Eggs, the perfect single-girl food!

In defense of butter

Butter is one of those divine gifts from nature that cannot be duplicated, no matter how much we try. There's been this war against butter for as long as I can remember (which is going on 24 years) and long past that. Humans have tried to recreate the goodness of butter in margarine and shortening, naming products "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" and the like, but there is no way to duplicate it's wonderful properties.

What is margarine or Crisco, anyway? Can you make it in your kitchen? Nope, didn't think so! To make butter you milk a cow, let the milk sit and the cream rise, skim the cream off the milk, shake the cream until the fat clumps together and forms butter. It's that simple! Of course, most of us don't have a milch cow in their backyard, but the same results come from a store-bought carton of heavy whipping cream. Margarine and Crisco take some sort of scientific process to make.

As for a spread, the new butters that have been blended with (natural) canola oil or olive oil are great and smooth and natural.

I say fuck calorie count for natural food. Our health problems haven't spread out of no where, and part of the problem is all of this food product we eat. Fake, low-calorie food can't hold a candle to natural veggies and fruit and pasta and meat and dairy. Just watch your portions and enjoy REAL food... including BUTTER!

"My Life In France"

I just finished "My Life In France" by Julia Child. Amazing read.

Growing up, Julia Child was that crazy lady with the silly voice on PBS that came on after Sesame Street. She's one of those people you always knew of, but never really knew why.

I never gave her much thought until she passed. Thinking of Julia Child reminds me of one of the few good memories I have of a roommate I was never too fond of. It was shortly after she passed, and somehow the conversation turned to her, and my roommate described how he remembered Julia: as a crazy old woman who would look at a red-hot pan, proceed to touch the pan and then exclaim, "Oh, my, that's hot!"

And that's exactly the type of woman she was. She need to experiment and see things for herself. We all could take a page from Mrs. Child's book(s).

Even though she was married most of her life, Julia Child is an inspiration to single girls everywhere. She didn't marry until she was 34, which, in 1946, was a feat in an of itself. Of course, she had WWII to thank for some of her independence, but she went through the nineteen thirties as a single girl in her twenties. She's one of the most recognized culinary figures in cuisine TV, but she didn't begin cooking school until she was 36.

What can the single girl learn from Mrs. Child? That your life is not decided until you are dead. There are days I'm terrified because I don't know what the future holds, but I'm learning that that's okay. She lived life with gusto; we all should.

Child is an inspiration for everyone, but single girls in particular.

Single and healthcare

There are few things scarier than living with out healthcare coverage. Anything that could happen to you physically is fixed with good healthcare. Most people with health insurance don't freak out at the idea of falling down, but if you take a tumble with out healthcare coverage and kind of hurt yourself, that not so horrible injury can turn into something bad.

There's this common misconception about people without health insurance being bad, lazy, lay-abouts, or young people being fearless and thinking they're invincible, but that's simply not the case.

As a person struggling to find employment in my desired field, I am willing to take a job with out benefits. Any job to get my foot in the door for the time being, something to build off of for later. And I'm far from being the only one. Many people, recent grads like myself or long-time pros, are willing to take a less than ideal position because it's a job, it's money, and we'll have to deal without health care, or at least without perfect healthcare.

President Obama's speech this evening outlined some of the blockades facing the uninsured, pre-existing conditions being one of the biggest roadblocks. A person with a disease needs to be treated before anyone else. Aren't there enough perfectly healthy people paying to cover the people who actually need treatment? And isn't preventative care the best way to catch these things before they get out of hand and treatment gets expensive?

I think a healthcare crisis may just be the big push we need to start taking care of ourselves. It's horrible, but if people knew they couldn't just run to the doctor and get a triple bi-pass when you eat too much pizza and red meat, they might try some fruit and veggies. I know I'm taking better care of myself than I did a couple of years ago. I used to drink Mountain Dew like it was water, now I barely drink pop, or anything other than water and beer for that matter. And what's really sick, the beers I like have less calories per 12 oz serving than a 12 oz can of Mountain Dew.

So, for the time being, I'm going to be walking a lot, and heading to they gym when it starts to get cooler, and I'm trying to cook more at home, adding veggies, fruit and yogurt to my daily diet. Hopefully nothing bad happens in the time being.

Single Girls and Pets

Pets can enrich a single life so much, especially after a break up. It doesn't matter that they can't talk, and you have to pick up their poop, it's just nice to know that there's someone waiting for you at home.

I love my cats, it's nice to have someone that will curl up on your lap and act like they love you, even if no one else does. Especially when you feel like no one will ever love you again. That cranky ball of fluff will love you.