Moving

Moving sucks. Moving sucks even more if you live alone, because there's no one else that obligated to help you move. Luckily I have awesome family and friends that helped me move and put me up until I found a new place.

I moved from Chicago back to Bemidji, MN, where I attended undergrad. I liked it here, it's very quiet and great if you like to spend most of your time outdoors. But the thing about Bemidji is it's family-friendly. And family friendly usually means single-unfriendly, which is totally true. It's a family-friendly college town, which means that it's not the best place for single renters, especially single renters with pets.

There are very few one-bedroom cat-friendly apartments in this city. Which is partly understandable in a college/redneck town as most renters are either college students or white trash, most of whom won't actually take care of their pets, but it sucks for the rest of us who don't want to or aren't in a position to buy but still take good care of our pets.

It also sucks that the few places that do accept pets want extra money for them. Putting down an extra $20/month or a $300 one-time pet fee won't guarantee that your property won't get ruined or that your tenant is a good pet parent. In fact, making it a non-refundable fee rather than a deposit might do the opposite, I mean, the money's already gone whether the dog chews up the trim or the cat scratches the corners, so why not let them run amuck? But if you might get your money back, you'll probably take better care of your apartment.

And money again doesn't guarantee a good pet parent. I have never had a landlord ask me to see my cats' vet and vaccine records. Seriously? Don't you want to know that the pets that are living in your building are healthy and well taken care of? If the pet is well taken care of, so will the apartment. It's not healthy for the a cat to have a dirty litter box or a dog to be swimming in its own feces.

So, rentees of Bemidji, please, reevaluate your pet policies. There are good people who have/want pets, just ask for the right things, and money isn't always the right thing.

A few money saving tips

Monthly bills can add up quickly. $10 hear and $30 there and before you know it those small monthly payments are eating up your hard-earned money. Here's a few tips to save on common monthly expenses.

Power Bill:

• We've been hearing for years that we're not supposed to leave lights on and switching to energy saving bulbs will cut down on but it's true.
• Try to only have the lights on in the room you're in.
• Keep the lights off for as long as possible and open up your blinds and curtains. Natural light is not only free but better for you. If you like to read in the afternoon set up a cozy chair near a window. Place a lamp nearby so you only have to turn on one light to read rather than the lights for a whole room.
• Let your laptop battery completely drain out before charging. This is not only good for your power bill but it's also good for your computer battery. Make sure you unplug the charger when your computer is not connected to it.
• Use power strips. These are easy to switch off so you can power off all TV or computer related appliances and so on. It works great in the kitchen for all your breakfast stuff too. Keep the toaster, coffee maker and bean grinder plugged into the same power strip and remember to flip it off before you jet out of the house.

Cable/Internet/Phone Bill:

• Don't let the cable company jerk you around, they're always offering great promo prices for new customers but treat their loyal customers like shit. Call and ask for a discount. Threaten to go to their competitor, especially if they're advertising against them. If you have Comcast, threaten to go to AT&T. They usually will give you the new customer pricing or something similar. If they don't, go to the competitor and get their new customer price.
• Completely drop your cable TV. With resources like Netflix and hulu and the new free digital TV you can get caught up on almost all your favorites, even Jersey Shore. MTV offers all of it's shows online for free. I've watched so much TV on DVD that when I do get into a show on regular TV I can barely stand waiting a whole week to find out what happens next.
• You don't need a landline anymore, unless you live in a VERY rural area where cell reception is non-existent. There's no reason to have more than one personal line.

Wireless Phone:

• I had a BlackBerry and I loved it, but it wasn't very practical for me. So I downgraded to a simpler phone with a cheaper plan. Take a second look at your phone bill and compare it to your usage. Many services via mobile web are also available via text. In Chicago CTA bus tracker recently became available through text messaging. Each bus stop has a code that you text with ctabus to 41411. Use online bus tracker to look up the code. I have my most used stops saved as quick texts and make a list of other stops I might use in a note in my phone. And Google has been offering a KGB-like service for years for free via text message. Just text G-O-O-G-L-E (466453) with something like temp 60605 to get the weather for Chicago.
• Minutes and texts: Most of us text more than we talk these days, and with services like those mentioned above, it makes sense to have unlimited messaging. But with increased texting comes decreased talking. Most people my age can get away with the fewest minutes possible, especially if you take advantage of free night and weekends and the"my circle"-type services offered by many carriers. And all major cell companies offer free mobile-to-mobile, which means that all calls to friends that use the same carrier are free. If a good friend or significant other isn't happy with his/her service recommend your company, especially if they've expressed interest in your phone. Your carrier will most likely give you a discount for recommending a new customer.

I hope these few tips help. If you have any other great tips share them in the comments!

Government Assistance

It's no secret I'm addicted to "Teen Mom" on MTV. I'm glad they did this follow-up spin-off of 16&Pregnant because it really shows that having a baby is not all flowers and candy, even if you give that baby up for adoption. On the show Amber ends up going on government assistance (food stamps and what not) and it makes me a little annoyed.

I get that there are people out there who need help, and Amber was certainly one of them. You can tell she genuinely is doing this as a last resort and is using it as a step up, not a step to sleep on for the rest of her life. But at the same time, it can be frustrating to be in my position and see someone in her position have more than me.

Growing up in the '90s a certain protocol was set forth for the children of my generation. You go to school, graduate, go to college, graduate and get a job. Somewhere in there you fall in love and get married or at least move in with someone, but not until after you've secured that degree and job. Then babies come somewhere after that.

If you didn't follow those steps, you fucked up along the way. It feels like people are rewarded for fucking up, and it sucks. There are times when I'm balancing my checkbook and I feel like it wouldn't be so bad if I would have popped out a kid somewhere along the way because I'd have child support and government assistance coming in, too. That lasts for two seconds, because then I realize how much I hate scooping the litterbox and I know diapers are much much much worse. And I always cringe when I hear babies cry at work or on the train. And I can't stand the little bit of fat I have now, stretch marks and baby fat would probably send me over the edge.

I know that people on assistance don't get much, and they can only work so many hours before they are not qualified anymore. But they are still getting money for essentially doing nothing.

And then there are the problems with the food stamp programs themselves, which most states dole out money via debit cards. This money can only be used on items in stores classified as grocery products. Ice cream and chips are classified as grocery items. During college I had friends who worked at grocery stores and would see people buy as much junk food as possible with their food stamp card and then pay cash for things like DVDs.

I'm not saying that just because you're poor you shouldn't get ice cream or chips every now and then, but rather than giving a monetary allowance set amounts of food items should be allowed. Like a family of four can pick out two bags of apples and two gallons of milk and so on and so forth per week. And cooking classes should be part of the program as well. Do you really think a 16-year-old mother is going to know how to cook anything other than mac and cheese and frozen pizza? Teaching people to cook quick nutritious meals with their food allotment would also help out healthcare cost and lower obesity rates, which are higher among people with lower income. And who can blame them when you can get cheeseburgers and fries for $2 from fast food places?

I've done the education part, and I'm sure that job part is somewhere around the corner, same with that love stuff. But right now, I'm struggling with the whole money thing. Yes, I abused credit cards a bit and took student loans, but I also worked through college and grad school and didn't live what anyone would call a lavish lifestyle with said loans and credit cards. The plan was to have a job and be able to pay off that debt in time, while saving money and contributing to society.

It sucks because I really just want to do this life thing on my own, and when I see girls way younger than me that fucked up getting a leg up on me I just want to curl up in a ball and hide in a closet somewhere.

Frozen Food

and I'm not talking about Lean Cuisine or Nutrisystem or any of those shitty frozen meals. Ugh, Lean Cuisine is alright, but having them for most of my lunches for a while has totally put me off them. And they only taste like pepper. I like pepper, but I don't want it to be the only spice in my meal. They smell good when they're in the microwave, but all I get is pepper. But I digress...

I'm talking about other offerings in the frozen food aisle, specifically frozen bagged veggies. These gems are often overlooked as being unhealthy, but the only preservative is the cold, and frozen veggies are fresher than what you'd find in the produce section, as the are frozen within days or even hours of picking. Fresh vegetables have a few days to even weeks journey to your grocer and are often picked before they are ripe, and are then chemically ripened as they travel.

One of my favorite grocery products are the bagged mixed veggies. California blend (broccoli, cauliflower and carrots) is probably my favorite because it's so basic and versatile and goes with everything, but I will buy anything without celery. (I don't like celery) Best things about bagged frozen veggies: they're cheap, easy to prepare, super healthy and very low calorie.

My favorite way to prepare veggies is with a microwave steamer. I put any liquid seasonings (Worcestershire, soy sauce, hot sauce) in the water in the bottom, place the center tray down, dump the veggies and top with any dry seasonings. Place the lid on and throw the thing in the microwave for 10 to 15 minutes. When it's done you have a great side dish or even a meal. A little cheese garnish is welcome, too. But only REAL cheese... please stay away from the mom favorites of Velveeta or Cheese Whiz, they are not food!

If you don't want to purchase a steamer, the same principle can be used in the oven. Drizzle some olive oil along with seasoning over the veggies in a 9*13 pan and bake for 20 to 30 minutes, until the veggies are hot. Or use the stove and cook in boiling water.

The next time you're at the grocery store contemplating another frozen pizza (if there's spinach on a pizza, it's healthier, right?) take a few steps and visit the frozen vegetable section and do your body and your wallet a favor.

$$$$$

When did the rumor start that all single people automatically had a ton of cash? That if you're not a parent or married, you're not struggling to keep money in the bank. When? Who?

Guess what all you married people with kids, single people have money trouble, too! In fact, we only have one income (unless we're working multiple jobs, but more about that later.)

A big issue married people are throwing in single people's faces is eating out. Guess what, most recipes serve like, 6 to 8 people or something like that. And restaurants usually portion things out into like, single or double servings. So we're eating out not because we can't or don't want to cook or save money, but because we want one burger, not four. Is it so much to ask that we can have different food every night, and not eat the same thing, or not pig-out on two dozen cookies when all we really want is one.

And this whole, you need to save money thing. Save what money? After rent, bills, and food, there is no money. Those great careers with amazing salaries, don't exist anymore. They've gone the way of the dinosaur.

Carrie Bradshaw and Helen Girly Brown made it look and sound so easy. But guess what, it isn't. I don't want Eurotrash friends or rich boyfriends financing my life. I want to do it my way, on my own, no strings attached. Money is a tough subject, and in today's world, it's even worse.

Credit Cards

My generation has financed our short pasts and risked our futures with credit cards and student loans. I am definitely not innocent of this, and it sucks.

We were told that we needed a college education, which turned into a bachelor's degree, which turned into a master's degree. We were told that we would only get jobs if we had theses degrees. As we neared collegiate age we were told that college was expensive, and our parents didn't save enough to pay. We weren't all smart enough to pay our way with scholarships, so most of us got student loans, most of which were from the government that educated us up to college.

And at the college, working for minimum wage or slightly above trying to buy pizza and beer and living off the refund of our student loans, and nice looking lady, someone who looks like our favorite aunt, came up to us in the student union and told us we could get a t-shirt or a free pizza if we just signed up for a credit card. You need a credit card to build your credit, so its a good thing. We'll give you a $3,000 limit, but if you only spend what you can, and pay it off, you'll be okay.

Damn that pizza was good, and $10,000 later with a 15% interest rate, that t-shirt is the nicest thing you own.

Credit is this scary thing that's catching up with us now. We're over-educated and underpaid and were planning on making more with our degree than we were when we started, so those "emergency" credit card purchases would be paid off. And now they don't want to hire us.

There are no jobs, or so it seems. We were told to spend, and now we're told not to. There are no fruits to our labor, because we have no labor.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

One of the hardest parts of being single is the lack of respect. I think, even in this day and age, that there's this stigma that being single means that you're not grown up. That by not "settling down" and getting married or building a long-term relationship you're extending adolescence and undergraduate debauchery.

This goes back to my favorite Sex and the City episode, A Woman's Right to Shoes. Carrie's $500 brand new Manolo Blahnik shoes disappear after being forced to take them off at a baby shower for a friend's third child. When Carrie confronts the friend about the loss of her asset the friend chides her for spending so much on shoes, and refuses to pay to replace them.

I can't tell you exactly when a person goes from being a child to an adult, but I can tell you it's not always when they slip a ring on someone else's finger or push another human being from their uterus.

There's this idea that permanent relationships and children have to be a part of adulthood that is ingrained in us as children. It's not even an on-purpose thing. Our first impressions of adults are our parents, people who conventionally engaged in a marriage or long-term relationships and had children.

In many cultures, there are rituals to welcome children into adulthood (ex: Bar and Bat Mitzvah in Judaism ) But there are none in America. Legally, we're adults when we turn 18, but you still can't drink alcohol until you're 21, and you still need to submit your parent's income to financial aid for school, which is bull shit and subject for another rant. We're not expected to grow up until it's too late.

Financial independence, in my opinion, is true adulthood. If you make enough to support your lifestyle without relying on family money or credit cards, you have achieved adulthood. If your lifestyle includes a spouse and 2.5 children, that's great. If your lifestyle includes two cats, cookies and solitude, that works too, as long as you can afford it.

I'm not quite there yet as a recent grad, but it is what I'm working to, and I'm working hard to achieve it.

Then again, maybe we never grow up, maybe we just get older.