Midnight Run

This town can suck you in. It can break you down and kill your spirit if you let it. They want you to conform, they don't like outsiders here. People who do different things, look different, act different, are different aren't welcome, aren't wanted. People here get married young, have families and work to support that family, not because they want to build a career.

They don't like independent people here. People aren't supposed to be alone here. The sidewalks don't get used here, especially not at night. And no one goes out in the rain.

So the strangest thing I could do would be to go for a midnight run alone in the rain.

I was sick of sitting alone in my apartment. I was sick of sitting. I was sick of being afraid of a little water and darkness. If no one uses the sidewalk they are just as safe in the darkness as they are in the light. And I might look harmless, but I can fend for myself if need be.

The water, the water felt good, cleansing. The movement was cleansing as well. The heavy breathing was putting good in and bad out. I guess I didn't run as much as I walked, because my knee hurt, but it still felt good.

More importantly I got stuff out. I thought and talked to myself about all sorts of stuff. It felt good to get it out, it felt good to put it out in the world. The bad went out and the rain washed it away.

Most importantly, it felt good to be different, to stop trying to conform and just do what felt good, what felt right for me. Because now I feel better, I feel right.

Women's rights and pro-life

Pro-life is anti-women's rights. At least hard-core pro-lifers are.

It's one thing to be against abortion, to want people to copulate responsibly and to want every life that is created to be wanted. I think that is honorable.

But when people only see women as baby-carrying machines I can not agree with pro-lifers. Pregnancy, when normal, is fairly safe, but a lot can go wrong. Women can die because of pregnancy gone wrong and when politicians and religious leaders put the life of an unborn child ahead of the life of the mother, it's wrong.

I believe that an unborn child has some rights, but killing its mother isn't one of them. First off, babies don't do so well with out their mothers. There's the whole basic need of food from breast milk and the whole needing care for the first 18 years or so.

A woman is not a baby machine. She is a person with a brain who has a right to life. More of a right than a baby who will probably die anyway.

It's easy to say that a baby is an innocent life and babies are so sweet and babies babies babies! But Hitler was a baby once, remember that. Babies aren't all that great. They're money pits that eat and poop and sleep but not through the night when you want to. And they just grow up to and suck up more money and hate you.

I would love it if people would have sex responsibly and only conceive when they want and every baby would end up healthy, but that's not the way life works.

And making abortion illegal would NOT stop abortions, it would just make them more dangerous.

Sweat

Exercise is so much easier if you can incorporate it into your daily life, but we're too afraid of a little sweat and stank that we huddle in our cars and get fat, fat, fat!

Human beings don't get as smelly as quickly as we tend to think. Yes, running on a treadmill for 30 minutes will make you stinky, taking 30 minutes to walk your 1.5 miles to work, not so much.

The obesity epidemic is caused by many factors, but our fear of sweat doesn't help much. I'd rather be smelly and thin than smelly and fat. I mean, when you get so fat that your dead skin cells collect in your rolls and start rotting... that has GOT to smell worse than someone who took a bicycle to work.

And in the world of dating I'm pretty sure the athletic girl sans make-up with her hair in a ponytail and a runner's glow beats out the fat chick with too much make-up and perfect hair EVERY time.

Lose the make-up, let your skin breathe!

Embrace your sweat, it turns a fat girl into a cute girl and a cute girl into a hot girl.

Christmas

Christmas can really suck as a single adult.

First you have families wondering why you're not married (no one wants me... isn't that good enough?)

Then it's like, you're not allowed to like Christmas, because Christmas is for kids, and you're not a kid and you're not a parent so Christmas isn't for you. It's in all the commercials and cookbooks... There is no "Christmas for one."

I love baking, but too many sugary treats is not good for the waistline (and therefore not good for the aforementioned husband hunting.) And not having a brood around makes temptation all that much greater.

You have to buy gifts for other people, other people's kids, but no one is obligated to get you anything. Which sounds a bit Scroogy, but when you only have one income, it can kind of suck.

Why can't I be excited for Santa? Why can't I love decorating a tree? Why can't I like candy canes and cranberries?

It seems like single, childless adults are supposed to hate Christmas and spend it in a cocktail infused haze of random hookups and family fights, but I'd rather sing carols and drink candy cane cocoa, if that's okay.

Parenting...

Author's note: this is an anti-"mommy blog" not an "anti-mommy" blog. I don't see anything wrong with loving parents. But if a laundry product gets spit-up out of clothes that info doesn't help me much, thank you.

As I've said many times before, I'm not a parent. And when I say I really don't think I want to ever be a parent, people here say that I'll change my mind and that I'm just saying that or they act like I'm a horrible monster for not wanting to stretch out my uterus, skin and vagina to bring a life into this world.

Don't get me wrong, I do like kids. I think they can be adorable and it can be fun to spend time with them. But I get sick of it really easily. I don't like having to hide things from people, and parents have to lie all the time, or explain things in a dumbed down way and make things easier for a young mind to understand, and I'm not good at that. I like being blunt, putting things in a strait forward matter that maybe isn't child appropriate. I can't keep up the ruse that long, it's exhausting. And that's with well-behaved children.

Which brings me to my next point.

There was a woman in the store this afternoon who brought her two children, a boy about four and a girl about two. Cute but a little dirty (like sandbox dirty, needed a bath dirty, but not call child protective services dirty) and full of energy. She first was going to bring them in and leave her cart in the mall, but I told her she could bring it in. I showed the kids our sanitizers (which smell like hot cocoa and cupcakes... totally kid friendly).

This woman took her time looking for stuff (first mistake in my opinion) and the kids got more and more antsy. The weren't being bad, just acting like any two- and four-year-old would when their mom is taking too long in a store that doesn't really interest them and it's early afternoon on a beautiful day when you know that winter is imminent. But she kept yelling at them as if they were committing murder. Believe me, I was more appalled by her behavior than the children's.

Anyway, the woman finally decided what she wanted and made her purchase and left. After she had for-sure cleared the store I turned and said to my co-worker (who is the parent of a cute 2-year-old girl) and said "I'm sorry, I know I'm not a parent, but that woman clearly should not have children." to which she agreed. I also went on to say that we don't know all the circumstances as we are not day-to-day observers in this woman's life and we could have just caught her on a bad day... this conclusion was brought with very limited evidence.

This idea that you have to reproduce because of religious or social obligation is ridiculous. The idea that you HAVE to have kids, that a religion would tell couples they're going to hell for not having kids is a hateful, horrible thing. Some people just should not be parents, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with being childless.

Children stress some people out. I happen to be one of them. I also realize this, which is a good thing.

So please, the next time you hear someone say they don't want kids, don't belittle them in any way. Don't try and assure them that they will change their mind. I don't question why you have children, so don't question why I don't.

I think a person who realizes they won't be successful parents before a child enters their life in a parental way is just as beautiful a thing as a person who gets the greatest satisfaction from being a parent.

Besides, I'm more the cool-aunt-type, anyway.

Finally

Check this out!

I'm kind of in the majority!

For the first time ever single people are the majority!

But not all single people are single. In fact, a lot of them are in committed relationships, they just haven't "put a ring on it."

But still, this is pretty amazing news. People are waiting to get married because then they're more adult and know that it's not all about having a bit fancy wedding, but about building a life with someone, and that means financially as well.

Even though it's important to share and take care of others, it's also important to take care of yourself. You should always bring your best "you" into a relationships, and you'll get the best "them" right back.

How to deal with a pimple

Okay, so there are a million and one websites that tell you how to get rid of pimples and only a few have got it right. I've been dealing with acne for 14 years and I've learned a thing or two along the way, so here's my best zit advice:

The first debate: to pop or not to pop. Generally try not to just pop for the sake of popping. Try a good spot treatment. I know a lot say benzoyl peroxide, but I don't like it because it bleaches my sheets. I go for a salicylic acid treatment in an alcohol-based gel form, more about that in a bit. The moment you see a pimple, put some treatment on it. Some zits can be cured this way. But when they don't, it's time to pop.

Now, you can't pop just any old zit, you need try your best to stop it, but if it grows anyway, don't pop it unless it comes to a head. You know what I'm talking about, when you're zit is about to burst anyway and all the white stuff has come to the top. It's a big red volcano with a white puss-filled top. It's gross and you don't want to be walking around like that all day.

Before you wash your face, either in the morning or at night, wash your hands thoroughly with anti-bacterial soap. We want to keep everything as clean as possible. If you're doing this at night you might want to swipe your face over with toner to remove any make-up around the zit, and to just give your face a once over. I know most places will tell you to wash your face first, but I like to pop first so I wash the zit out, too.

As soon as everything is clean go to town. Stretch your skin a bit before you squeeze in. This will ensure you get under the junk and you don't just push it back into your skin, making the problem worse. Stop the second blood or a clear slightly yellow-orange fluid comes out. No more puss will come out once this starts happening. Now wash your face with a good cleanser. I really like Clinique 3-step, but use your favorite, as long as you get that squeeky clean feeling.

Now put on your spot treatment. This is why I like the alcohol-based gel type, it kills the germs as it treats it. Don't mess around with bacteria and zits, you could end up with an infection like perioral dermatitis, which is not fun. (It's red flakey patches around your mouth, not even your mother will want to kiss you!) Let the spot treatment do it's thing for a bit.

Put some neosporin-type treatment on top of the pimple gel. This will not only help kill bacteria, but it will also speed the healing process and protect the area. I know petroleum jelly (the base for anti-biotic ointment) seems like it would cause zits, but it doesn't really soak into the skin, and it's kind of the opposite of the oil on your face.

Repeat the steps with the gel and the ointment until your scab has healed. I know it sucks to have a scab on your face but DON'T pick it. It will just take that much longer to heal. If it happens to come off when you're washing your face, fill the hole (there will be a hole) with anti-biotic ointment and let it sit for as long as possible.

If you're doing this in the morning, I suggest trying to put some time between treatment and moisturizer. Maybe have breakfast or feed your cats in the mean time. The more time the stuff sits on your skin uninterrupted, the better it will work.

But what if you don't want to wait for your zit to come to a head? What if you KNOW that it will, but you just can't wait. What if it kind of hurts and you can't stand it anymore. Time for a needle.

Again, make sure everything is clean. Rubbing alcohol is your best friend. Repeat all steps up to the point of popping. When you're ready to pop, stretch your skin so you see the highest point of the zit. That's where you want to put the needle. Pop a hole in the middle at the point with a sterilized needle and withdraw. Squeeze any white gunk out, but again stop when you see blood or ooze. Repeat the washing and healing steps as above. These might take a little longer to heal, as you popped them before they were ready.

If your acne fails to get better over time, please see a doctor. They can give you medicine that you can't find over the counter.