The cost of being a woman

My boyfriend and I will watch old movies and joke about how men's fashion hasn't changed that much in the last century. Men in the 1920s, '30s, '40s and through the decades have taken a similar approach to fashion. Slacks, button down or button front shirt, tie, suits, dress shoes... The cuts may change, suits are made to fit tighter or looser, tie width changes, but a man wearing a pair of slacks purchased in the last five years, a crisp buttoned shirt with or without a tie in an acceptable width and length and a man is good to go. It's simple.
In that same time period, look at how much women's fashion has changed -- even from the beginning of a decade. Look at how the fashions vary from the beginning of "Mad Men" to the end. Don Draper and the older men don't change much, and the younger men play into trends a little more, but a suit cut differently is still a suit. The women's clothing, on the other hand, differs so much from character to character and throughout the decade. Fashion is another way to show a female character's growth throughout the series.
A man who doesn't change sizes can wear the same clothes until they wear out. I once outed a male co-worker for having a hole in the elbow of his shirt. The buttoned shirt lasts until his elbow pops out.
Very few women's clothing items will last that long -- not because of quality, but because of fashion. Shirts get tighter and looser, as do pants. Skirt lengths change. The proper shoes for each outfit is always changing. A woman isn't properly dressed for many occasions if she isn't wearing heals that pinch her toes, rub against her heals and make her stand tippy-toed for hours on end.
And then we get to grooming.
I have hair that's on the greasy side, so I have to wash it every morning. Which means I need to dry it every day. That whole process probably sucks about 20 minutes from my day.
Give a man 20 minutes and not only is he showered and washed, but he's probably fully dressed and in the car on his way to work already.
I generally don't wear make up, mostly because I have acne-prone skin and skipping all make up tends to make my skin look nicer. The other reason is time. I like the way I look with a nicely lined eye and pink cheeks, but it takes time. And that's if you don't mess up.
Men can buy work clothes at end-of-season clearance sales and not have to worry about being "on trend." They can buy a bottle of 2-in-1 shampoo and body wash and shaving products and be perfectly groomed for the corporate world.
If a woman tried that, she'd be called frumpy at best.
I just want some of my grooming time back to use on more productive things, if I could.

Single in the Oil Patch

For some women, being single in the Oil Patch would be a venerable beefcake buffet, but I'm not one of them.
Sure, there are a lot of men here, and many of those are single guys who moved up here to make a ton of money, which they are. But the type of guy who moves to North Dakota to make a ton of money for themselves really aren't my type. They're the type who want that money to buy big boy toys, not pay off student loans.
I have a bachelor's degree from Bemidji State University and a master's degree from Columbia College Chicago, and I miss living in the city every day.
I don't feel safer when people around me have guns. Quite the opposite, I'm worried that person may snap and use the firearm irresponsibly.
I'm not impressed by your paycheck, I'm impressed by your heart, which is very unimpressive if you're trying to win me with your paycheck.
I'm a liberal feminazi bitch. You're not going to change me, so please stop trying.
I'm done with "opposites attract." They might attract, but they don't last. Sooner or later you will have a major argument that just leads to conflict and heart ache, and before you know it, you've wasted eight months of your life that you'll never get back.
I guess my point is you should just leave me alone if you're looking for a housewife to bear your children, because that's not me.
Thank you

The 'Baby-Momma' dilema in journalism

The definition of "family" is forever changing, and with this poses some challenges for journalists. When a woman is the mother of a man's child, but they currently have no other legally defined relationship, and were never married, it gets so exhausting to put "mother of his child" in stories. I really wish we could say "baby-momma." Especially when the two have a civil relationship or even a friendship that has come out of co-parenting. They might have dated, but the romantic entaglements are all gone. Ex-wife sounds like there is some sort of dispute. Baby-momma sounds like what it is, baby-momma.

James was joined by his baby-momma for their 7-year-old's school play.

So please, let's bring this term out of the "slang" world and into credible language where it belongs.

Dear Netflix:

Dear Netflix,

I think you really f*cked up this time. We were mad about the 50 percent price increase. So what do you do, not lower prices or let us know that with the increase there will be more content streaming. You make it more complicated that it was before.

People loved Netflix. You get DVDs in the mail, how great is that? And I can watch stuff online, too? GREAT. What, you have an app for my TV! I'm on board.

But now you're Qwickster? WTW? That's kind of messed up. Actually, that's really messed up. So not only are you charging more, you're going to change your name? Because name changes have really been successful for companies in the past. And one thing I loved about Netflix was that if I had a DVD in my queue and it became available with watch instantly, I would know. So if my DVDs are from Qwickster, and they become available on Netflix, will I know? Do I have to search it out to watch it streaming?

Basically Netflix, I think you lost a customer, at least for DVDs... and with the loss of Starz in February and the rise of services like HuluPlus and Amazon, I think you might have lost me and MILLIONS of others.

When does it become OK to put your significant other first?

My new coworker used to work at the same place as his wife. When the moved here they only had one car. (Why have two when you go to the same place every day?) So he has to drive her places until they can get another car. (Side note, I recommend a large car or, better yet, some type of vehicle with 4-wheel drive.)

Anyway, no one is going argue with a man who has to drive his wife to work or a doctor's appointment or anything like that, but would they do the same for a girlfriend? If someone had to leave work early for a boyfriend's doctor's appointment, would that be OK?

Do they have to be live-in before it's OK? Engaged? Dating for a year? Mother/father of your child? At what point does doing something for your significant other become sweet and not flaky?

And maybe it's flaky for a woman to do something for a man, but sweet for a man to do something for a woman?

All I know is that I felt flaky when I would choose a boyfriend over friends and especially over work, even if it was leaving to grab a quick bite, or if he stopped by to say "hi."

Does it depend on the level of commitment, or is it a boy/girl thing?

Thoughts?

Vegas baby!

I got invited to go to Las Vegas this summer. The trip is totally affordable and I think I'm going to go :)

But there's a tiny little glitch in the form of 30 lbs. The trip is only six weeks away, so I don't think that I can lose it all by then, but I can work my butt off, be really strict with my diet and drop about 10 while toning up and creating muscle.

I've been trying to lose weight for a while now, and I've dropped a few pounds in the last few months, I'm not shedding it as quickly as I would like. I think this trip is going to be the boost I need to whip me into shape.

How am I going to do it? First of all, lots of lean protein (chicken, turkey, fish, beans), veggies, fruit, healthy fats (think eggs, peanut butter, olive oil) and whole grains. Very few sweets, white carbs and little to no prepackaged food. The exception would be Kashi granola bars for a quick, on-the-go snack. But even they aren't as good as having a piece of fruit or some veggies.

I've been eating better, but not nearly as good as I should be. I've been eating less bad stuff, but not no bad stuff. That's going to have to stop now.

I've been lacking something to really motivate me, so I think this trip will be a good thing in more than one way.

It's Vegas baby!

Midnight Run

This town can suck you in. It can break you down and kill your spirit if you let it. They want you to conform, they don't like outsiders here. People who do different things, look different, act different, are different aren't welcome, aren't wanted. People here get married young, have families and work to support that family, not because they want to build a career.

They don't like independent people here. People aren't supposed to be alone here. The sidewalks don't get used here, especially not at night. And no one goes out in the rain.

So the strangest thing I could do would be to go for a midnight run alone in the rain.

I was sick of sitting alone in my apartment. I was sick of sitting. I was sick of being afraid of a little water and darkness. If no one uses the sidewalk they are just as safe in the darkness as they are in the light. And I might look harmless, but I can fend for myself if need be.

The water, the water felt good, cleansing. The movement was cleansing as well. The heavy breathing was putting good in and bad out. I guess I didn't run as much as I walked, because my knee hurt, but it still felt good.

More importantly I got stuff out. I thought and talked to myself about all sorts of stuff. It felt good to get it out, it felt good to put it out in the world. The bad went out and the rain washed it away.

Most importantly, it felt good to be different, to stop trying to conform and just do what felt good, what felt right for me. Because now I feel better, I feel right.

Women's rights and pro-life

Pro-life is anti-women's rights. At least hard-core pro-lifers are.

It's one thing to be against abortion, to want people to copulate responsibly and to want every life that is created to be wanted. I think that is honorable.

But when people only see women as baby-carrying machines I can not agree with pro-lifers. Pregnancy, when normal, is fairly safe, but a lot can go wrong. Women can die because of pregnancy gone wrong and when politicians and religious leaders put the life of an unborn child ahead of the life of the mother, it's wrong.

I believe that an unborn child has some rights, but killing its mother isn't one of them. First off, babies don't do so well with out their mothers. There's the whole basic need of food from breast milk and the whole needing care for the first 18 years or so.

A woman is not a baby machine. She is a person with a brain who has a right to life. More of a right than a baby who will probably die anyway.

It's easy to say that a baby is an innocent life and babies are so sweet and babies babies babies! But Hitler was a baby once, remember that. Babies aren't all that great. They're money pits that eat and poop and sleep but not through the night when you want to. And they just grow up to and suck up more money and hate you.

I would love it if people would have sex responsibly and only conceive when they want and every baby would end up healthy, but that's not the way life works.

And making abortion illegal would NOT stop abortions, it would just make them more dangerous.

Sweat

Exercise is so much easier if you can incorporate it into your daily life, but we're too afraid of a little sweat and stank that we huddle in our cars and get fat, fat, fat!

Human beings don't get as smelly as quickly as we tend to think. Yes, running on a treadmill for 30 minutes will make you stinky, taking 30 minutes to walk your 1.5 miles to work, not so much.

The obesity epidemic is caused by many factors, but our fear of sweat doesn't help much. I'd rather be smelly and thin than smelly and fat. I mean, when you get so fat that your dead skin cells collect in your rolls and start rotting... that has GOT to smell worse than someone who took a bicycle to work.

And in the world of dating I'm pretty sure the athletic girl sans make-up with her hair in a ponytail and a runner's glow beats out the fat chick with too much make-up and perfect hair EVERY time.

Lose the make-up, let your skin breathe!

Embrace your sweat, it turns a fat girl into a cute girl and a cute girl into a hot girl.

Christmas

Christmas can really suck as a single adult.

First you have families wondering why you're not married (no one wants me... isn't that good enough?)

Then it's like, you're not allowed to like Christmas, because Christmas is for kids, and you're not a kid and you're not a parent so Christmas isn't for you. It's in all the commercials and cookbooks... There is no "Christmas for one."

I love baking, but too many sugary treats is not good for the waistline (and therefore not good for the aforementioned husband hunting.) And not having a brood around makes temptation all that much greater.

You have to buy gifts for other people, other people's kids, but no one is obligated to get you anything. Which sounds a bit Scroogy, but when you only have one income, it can kind of suck.

Why can't I be excited for Santa? Why can't I love decorating a tree? Why can't I like candy canes and cranberries?

It seems like single, childless adults are supposed to hate Christmas and spend it in a cocktail infused haze of random hookups and family fights, but I'd rather sing carols and drink candy cane cocoa, if that's okay.

Parenting...

Author's note: this is an anti-"mommy blog" not an "anti-mommy" blog. I don't see anything wrong with loving parents. But if a laundry product gets spit-up out of clothes that info doesn't help me much, thank you.

As I've said many times before, I'm not a parent. And when I say I really don't think I want to ever be a parent, people here say that I'll change my mind and that I'm just saying that or they act like I'm a horrible monster for not wanting to stretch out my uterus, skin and vagina to bring a life into this world.

Don't get me wrong, I do like kids. I think they can be adorable and it can be fun to spend time with them. But I get sick of it really easily. I don't like having to hide things from people, and parents have to lie all the time, or explain things in a dumbed down way and make things easier for a young mind to understand, and I'm not good at that. I like being blunt, putting things in a strait forward matter that maybe isn't child appropriate. I can't keep up the ruse that long, it's exhausting. And that's with well-behaved children.

Which brings me to my next point.

There was a woman in the store this afternoon who brought her two children, a boy about four and a girl about two. Cute but a little dirty (like sandbox dirty, needed a bath dirty, but not call child protective services dirty) and full of energy. She first was going to bring them in and leave her cart in the mall, but I told her she could bring it in. I showed the kids our sanitizers (which smell like hot cocoa and cupcakes... totally kid friendly).

This woman took her time looking for stuff (first mistake in my opinion) and the kids got more and more antsy. The weren't being bad, just acting like any two- and four-year-old would when their mom is taking too long in a store that doesn't really interest them and it's early afternoon on a beautiful day when you know that winter is imminent. But she kept yelling at them as if they were committing murder. Believe me, I was more appalled by her behavior than the children's.

Anyway, the woman finally decided what she wanted and made her purchase and left. After she had for-sure cleared the store I turned and said to my co-worker (who is the parent of a cute 2-year-old girl) and said "I'm sorry, I know I'm not a parent, but that woman clearly should not have children." to which she agreed. I also went on to say that we don't know all the circumstances as we are not day-to-day observers in this woman's life and we could have just caught her on a bad day... this conclusion was brought with very limited evidence.

This idea that you have to reproduce because of religious or social obligation is ridiculous. The idea that you HAVE to have kids, that a religion would tell couples they're going to hell for not having kids is a hateful, horrible thing. Some people just should not be parents, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with being childless.

Children stress some people out. I happen to be one of them. I also realize this, which is a good thing.

So please, the next time you hear someone say they don't want kids, don't belittle them in any way. Don't try and assure them that they will change their mind. I don't question why you have children, so don't question why I don't.

I think a person who realizes they won't be successful parents before a child enters their life in a parental way is just as beautiful a thing as a person who gets the greatest satisfaction from being a parent.

Besides, I'm more the cool-aunt-type, anyway.

Finally

Check this out!

I'm kind of in the majority!

For the first time ever single people are the majority!

But not all single people are single. In fact, a lot of them are in committed relationships, they just haven't "put a ring on it."

But still, this is pretty amazing news. People are waiting to get married because then they're more adult and know that it's not all about having a bit fancy wedding, but about building a life with someone, and that means financially as well.

Even though it's important to share and take care of others, it's also important to take care of yourself. You should always bring your best "you" into a relationships, and you'll get the best "them" right back.

How to deal with a pimple

Okay, so there are a million and one websites that tell you how to get rid of pimples and only a few have got it right. I've been dealing with acne for 14 years and I've learned a thing or two along the way, so here's my best zit advice:

The first debate: to pop or not to pop. Generally try not to just pop for the sake of popping. Try a good spot treatment. I know a lot say benzoyl peroxide, but I don't like it because it bleaches my sheets. I go for a salicylic acid treatment in an alcohol-based gel form, more about that in a bit. The moment you see a pimple, put some treatment on it. Some zits can be cured this way. But when they don't, it's time to pop.

Now, you can't pop just any old zit, you need try your best to stop it, but if it grows anyway, don't pop it unless it comes to a head. You know what I'm talking about, when you're zit is about to burst anyway and all the white stuff has come to the top. It's a big red volcano with a white puss-filled top. It's gross and you don't want to be walking around like that all day.

Before you wash your face, either in the morning or at night, wash your hands thoroughly with anti-bacterial soap. We want to keep everything as clean as possible. If you're doing this at night you might want to swipe your face over with toner to remove any make-up around the zit, and to just give your face a once over. I know most places will tell you to wash your face first, but I like to pop first so I wash the zit out, too.

As soon as everything is clean go to town. Stretch your skin a bit before you squeeze in. This will ensure you get under the junk and you don't just push it back into your skin, making the problem worse. Stop the second blood or a clear slightly yellow-orange fluid comes out. No more puss will come out once this starts happening. Now wash your face with a good cleanser. I really like Clinique 3-step, but use your favorite, as long as you get that squeeky clean feeling.

Now put on your spot treatment. This is why I like the alcohol-based gel type, it kills the germs as it treats it. Don't mess around with bacteria and zits, you could end up with an infection like perioral dermatitis, which is not fun. (It's red flakey patches around your mouth, not even your mother will want to kiss you!) Let the spot treatment do it's thing for a bit.

Put some neosporin-type treatment on top of the pimple gel. This will not only help kill bacteria, but it will also speed the healing process and protect the area. I know petroleum jelly (the base for anti-biotic ointment) seems like it would cause zits, but it doesn't really soak into the skin, and it's kind of the opposite of the oil on your face.

Repeat the steps with the gel and the ointment until your scab has healed. I know it sucks to have a scab on your face but DON'T pick it. It will just take that much longer to heal. If it happens to come off when you're washing your face, fill the hole (there will be a hole) with anti-biotic ointment and let it sit for as long as possible.

If you're doing this in the morning, I suggest trying to put some time between treatment and moisturizer. Maybe have breakfast or feed your cats in the mean time. The more time the stuff sits on your skin uninterrupted, the better it will work.

But what if you don't want to wait for your zit to come to a head? What if you KNOW that it will, but you just can't wait. What if it kind of hurts and you can't stand it anymore. Time for a needle.

Again, make sure everything is clean. Rubbing alcohol is your best friend. Repeat all steps up to the point of popping. When you're ready to pop, stretch your skin so you see the highest point of the zit. That's where you want to put the needle. Pop a hole in the middle at the point with a sterilized needle and withdraw. Squeeze any white gunk out, but again stop when you see blood or ooze. Repeat the washing and healing steps as above. These might take a little longer to heal, as you popped them before they were ready.

If your acne fails to get better over time, please see a doctor. They can give you medicine that you can't find over the counter.

A few dieting tips

• It's perfectly acceptable to order only coffee at Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts. If you already had breakfast you don't need a second.
• Just because you're getting fast food doesn't mean you have to order the unhealthiest thing on the menu. Grilled chicken sandwiches and skipping/splitting the fries goes a long way. If you must get a burger get the works minus mayo and stick to a single patty. If you can get it on a whole wheat bun, do it.
• If you love chocolate (and who doesn't?) buy some of the really good stuff, I prefer Ghiradelli squares or Wonka chocolate, but any small, pre-wrapped chocolate will do. Spend a little more and buy a bag of the stuff. Keep it in the freezer. Pull out two peices when you have a chocolate craving or throw them in with your lunch. It will take about 15 min or so for them to thaw. This works for two reasons: the premeasured portions make it easy to control (and wouldn't you rather have two peices than one bar?) and the higher quality chocolate satisfies your craving better than cheaper chocolate. In the long run this will also save money because you're not spending $1 every day getting a chocolate bar at the vending machine. A bag of Wonka peices is generally $1 more than a bar of eight to ten peices, and contains 20 to 30 peices.

Enjoy!

Children

Here's the deal, I'm sick of your kids.

They might be your pride and joy but that doesn't mean I have to like them. I'm not a bad person for this, either. Just because I don't like them doesn't mean I'm going to do bad things to them. Just keep them at home or bring them to a park where kids belong. I love kids in these settings.

I'm just getting sick of people who bring their kids to the mall for an outing. It's one thing if you need something and you can't leave them at home, that's fine. I don't like it when whole families go to the mall, and while the mall is a "family place" it's not really a family place. The mall is not a park, the mall is not a playground, please stop using it as such.

If dad doesn't have to work why can't he stay home with the kids? At least the kids who don't need to be at the mall (or Wal-mart, or the grocery store or whatever...) and give mom some peace!

I get that kids will have some business at the mall, whether they need new shoes or a nice dress, they will need to try stuff on before mom buys it. But they don't always need to tag along.

The mall is not a playground, it's an indoor selection of stores offering products and services for purchase. It is not a place to let your kids run around. The people working there are not babysitters, they're there to help adults make informed purchases.

The next time you're sitting at home and want to go to the mall put the baby in dad's arms and drive over there yourself, you'll like it and so will the employees.

An Ode to Liz Lemon

Liz Lemon is my new hero.

I didn't get into 30 Rock until recently. I didn't think I'd like it, actually. But I must say, Liz Lemon is amazing. Tina Fey has created a loveable loser who's not such a loser.

Liz had a dream, and while it changed a bit, she made it happen. I like that she eats junk food and wears glasses and hoodies and is willing to do the unthinkable to get what she wants.

Liz Lemon is really the next Carrie Bradshaw. She's a writer living in New York, looking for love. But I think I like Liz better than Carrie, and I love Carrie (but have not seen SATC2 yet, I don't love her that much.)

I think it's because everything with Carrie was men men Big Big men Big Big Big Aiden Big Burger Big Russian Russian Big Russian Big Big Big, and maybe a meeting with her editor once a season... if that. And while that's one part of everyone's life, it's annoying when it's the only part of your life.

Liz doesn't have a Big, she had a Dennis, but we all have a Dennis... in fact Liz's Dennis was played by the same guy as Carrie's Dennis (John in The Fuck Buddy) crazy, I know.

Anyway, Liz is much more normal than Carrie. While Carrie's obsession with shopping and labels is fun to watch, it's hard in practice and most people maybe have one status bag they got at an outlet or a pair of Jimmy Choos they worked overtime for a month to get or that awesome Gucci dress they found at a second hand store, but not a closet full of those things they bought new, much of which at retail.

Liz's wardrobe, on the other hand, is full of jeans and slacks and hoddies and cardigans that anyone can buy at JCPenny or Khol's or, if they're feeling like spending a bit, a Macy's 13 hour sale. Her glasses probably came from Lens Crafters and her haircut from a moderately priced chain, maybe a Regis or if Jenna talked her into it, an Aveda.

I know it's bad, but I love Liz Lemon's style, or lack thereof. I'm not a fancy girl. I like simple, well crafted things. I believe there's nothing hotter than a girl in a plain t-shirt, well fitting jeans and cute shoes, it doesn't even have to be heels, but they help.

The best part of Liz Lemon, she fully embodies the single-girl spirit. She might want to get married and have babies, but she's not going to do it with just anyone and she won't sacrifice who she is to do it. She's always going to be Liz Lemon, not Mrs. Soandso. She worked hard to become who she is and she's not going to compromise that.

Thank you, Tina Fey, for creating such an amazing character, one that smart, funny, nerd, awkward girls girls can look up to.

Is everyone here married?

So I'm pretty sure everyone in this town is married. Which sucks because married people are scared of single people, so I'm probably not going to have any friends.

I work with a girl who got married before she graduated high school. She's a sweet girl and I already love her to death, but I want to shake her some times and ask her what she was thinking!!!

The topper: one of our coworkers who is married and has a two-year-old was talking about wanting a second child, and the younger girl pipes in and says that God has been giving her signs that she should get pregnant. We both stopped and told her to WAIT! And she seems to have listened. I even gave her my stock pile of Plan B, which I don't need 'cause I'm too fat to have sex right now anyway.

She wasn't on the pill because she tried it once for a month and the one she tried didn't work for her. She then informed me to never go on the pill. I told her I've been on it since I was 18 and it has worked wonders for what I need it for (skin, long periods). Imagine an 18-year-old socially conservative bride giving me birth control advice! Crazy, I know! I'm a huge fan of Planned Parenthood, since they've helped me so much. In fact, if it weren't for free family planning services from blue state governments, I wouldn't have seen a doctor in more than three years.

Anyway, it kind of saddens me to see such young girls latched on to something so totally with out any knowledge of what life is like alone. And a husband is just as fleeting as any other relationships, there's just paperwork involved to get rid of him.

We'll see how my single girl journey shapes up in a town where most of the girls my age are married with a kid or two and most of the men have migrated to work in the oil fields and whom I'm told to stay away from.

And don't forget to check out my new political blog ( I realize that many of my posts here have gotten WAY too political for a cooking-cleaning-single blog) Blue State Girl Living in a Red State (I'll rename it when I think of something snazzier).

Moving... Again

This spring I moved from Chicago, the country's third-largest city because I could not find a job. I returned to the town where I attended undergrad, going back to the beginning in a way, to try and live a little cheaper and get back on my feet. After being there for about a month the ball starts rolling on a job at a newspaper, which I eventually got, which means another move to a small town about the size of where I am now.

But here's the deal, it's hard being single in a city. It's even harder being single in a small town. Hardest yet is being single in an ultra-conservative Red-State small town. In towns like this I'm an Old-Maid because I'm not married, and I'm a selfish feminist because I don't think I want kids. (Although naming a brood after Star Wars characters is almost as good a reason as any to have kids, but I'd prefer to convince someone else of this and be that cool "aunt" type figure.)

I'm scared I'll be demonized because I support fairly liberal viewpoints. I'm scared that all the men my age will be married with kids, or else they'll be skeey perverts who don't know how to treat women. I'm scared my pharmacy won't honor my Birth Control prescription, even though I'm on it for my skin and long periods more so than controlling birth. I'm scared that no one will believe in love, only guns and hate and procreation for religious purposes, not for love and nurturing.

Red States scare me, it's true. And here's the deal, I totally believe in gun rights, I love wild game and I think it's probably the most humane way to kill animals. The live the life they were meant to live, and when they're old enough we shoot them and enjoy. What's not to love? But it's the crazy irrationality of it that scares me. It's the people who attack Planned Parenthoods because they sometimes perform abortions. It's people who get angry at other people for not sharing their ideas. It's people who condemn other people to hell, when God is the only one who can do that.

This is what I'm scared of, but I'm also excited. I'm ready to jump head first into my new job and my new town, which is gorgeous and full of Cowboys ;)

The Icy-Sticky Politics

I'm moving... again. What does this have to do with politics? I'm moving to North Dakota. After 25 years of living in Blue States, I'm moving to a Red State. Socially conservative North Dakota. And boy, an I scared.

I can understand socially conservative viewpoints, although I may not agree with them. It's the socially conservative blindly following any Republican ideas. Tying social, fiscal and political conservatism is disastrous if not dangerous.

Politicians have no right to tie personal values to political motives. And using religion, "Christian" religion to sell ideas of loose government, low regulations and corrupt financial markets and calling it freedom. The last I checked the Bible says nothing about selling bad financial "products" and causing a near collapse of the free world. And the Bible also says nothing about mega-"churches," but that's a different yet related rant.

If these things are what you really believe in, that's fine, I just don't like the way politicians use each other's personal lives and personal beliefs to attack each other, when those personal problems have nothing to do with they way they will govern or represent.

And the abortion issue. What ever your personal beliefs about the medical procedure you must understand the Roe v. Wade was a Supreme Court decision and your choices at the polls are indirect at best. More over local elections have even less to do with that decision. That being said, please STOP VOTING based on the candidate's pro-choice or pro-life views. They don't really effect that decision anyway.

And no matter what your feelings, making abortion an illegal medical procedure won't make them stop, it just makes them more dangerous. Think about it, what do you consider abortion? Just the medical procedure? What about a girl douching with bleach or drano to terminate their pregnancy? Or asking her boyfriend to punch her in the uterus or throw her down the stairs to end it? It's still abortion, isn't it?

What ever your social, fiscal or political views, consider them fully before you vote down party lines. George Washington warned us about political parties, it makes me wonder why America didn't listen to him, he was a pretty smart guy...

Lazy, ugly women.

So, there's an old quote that goes "There's no such thing as an ugly woman, just a lazy one." And it's so true!

First of all, it takes true laziness to get really fat. Anyone can have a few extra pounds, but obesity doesn't just happen. Fat is ugly, it's true. And again, a few extra pounds is not what I'm talking about, I'm talking about trying as hard as you can to move as little as possible.

Next step, hygiene. It's not hard to shower every day, it really isn't. Or every-other day, if you can get away with it. Having a clean body and clean hair contribute so much to beauty.

And this gets to hygiene.b: Hair maintenance and removal. A nice simple, well managed haircut is easily obtained by anyone. It doesn't take $300 to have a great haircut. $10 to $15 should do it at a national chain. Even there you can find a stylist you like and trust, tip them well to treat them well and you get the salon look at the discount price. And good shampoo and conditioner and styling products can be found at Target and Walmart for economy prices. Spend a little extra time making sure the products you're selecting are right for you. Learn to work with your natural hair texture to make styling easier on you and make your natural beauty shine through.

Hair removal. The most important thing you can do for your over-all beauty is finding the right eyebrow shape. Seriously. Your brows shape and frame your face. Bushy, overgrown eyebrows says "I don't care" and over-plucked pencil-thin brows say "I'm a porn-star in training." It's easy to find eyebrow tutorials online, but if you're completely lost, you might want to consider professional help. A good eyebrow wax can help create a shape that flatters your face. Many chain salons do these types of services as well. Make your dollar stretch further by maintaining the shape for as long as you can with your tweezers at home. All other hair removal (legs, facial, bikini) are secondary to your brows, but over-hairy (in America, anyway) = unhygienic and ugly.

On to make-up. You don't need a lot. I learned this tip from a magazine years ago, and it stuck with me ever since. Put your mascara on first. The second your eyelashes are darker and more defined, everything else falls into place and you'll use less of the rest of your make-up. Spots are less pronounce, dark under-eye circles are instantly lighter, your cheeks are rosier. Most days the only make-up I wear is black mascara. My skin thanks me for that.

Okay, your body. I know this is a touchy subject these days, but eating healthy isn't really that hard. What it comes down to is eating REAL food. Cook, even if it's just microwaving frozen veggies. Just read the ingredients on the bag or can, as long as you recognize what everything is, you're good to go. The other thing that hurts us is our sedentary lifestyles. Working in offices and sitting on our asses all day really hasn't done us any good. And the dependence on cars in this country, it's a shame. It doesn't hurt to walk or ride bike to work. It's good for you and the environment.

I would never say everyone has to be a size two. My ideal body on my 5'9" frame is 150-155 pounds, solid size 8, nice toned abs, legs and arms, and that little bit of fat that sticks out when I wear a tank top is gone. And I know I can do it.

Don't let your laziness turn you into an ugly woman. More than anything, every woman deserves to be beautiful. Beauty isn't easy, but it's not lazy, either.